The thing I liked most about him when I married him was his huge desire to be an involved father and his integrity. Not that like many other people have looked for the same thing to only be disappointed.
We honestly both had incredibly crappy childhoods and do not have the skills that many healthier adults have.
It was a slow, very slow sink downhill for many years and it's been a slow walk up. Very slow.
I did not have to deal with a hubby with serious mental illness, addiction, cheating, or leaving the house. So the sitchs here are much harder.
I will eventually peak at OTMP and you and then I am back to GALing by keeping off this board.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Although hubby was extremely done he was in the house since he wanted to be with his kids and that totally worked in my favor.
More MC is needed though...
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Things are going great and still I worry about the bottom falling out.
I want to be at ease.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
June, if I ever had a chance to do MC again, I would want to try Retrouvaille or a Gottman family therapist -- more focused on strategies rather than digging into underlying issues. Our MC did more damage than good. I hope that you'll get the ease that you want in your M.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
God, FM, I so agree with you. Our MC was a total putz. Made things so much worse. My hubby felt hopeless. I felt frustrated.
I hope this new guy we are seeing is better.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Just read thru your sich real fast. The book I just finished, Male Menopause, sounds like your husband exactly. Don't know if you read that book but I would suggest it for you specifically. It has really helped me see things differently. Have a great day!
What can I say. Things are good. Hubby listened to me vent about the kids tonight. Big change for him- it was nice.
I am nervous that things are going so well, when does that feeling go away?
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
Pilot, Thanks! I am definitely interested in reading this book.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
June, if I ever had a chance to do MC again, I would want to try Retrouvaille or a Gottman family therapist -- more focused on strategies rather than digging into underlying issues. Our MC did more damage than good. I hope that you'll get the ease that you want in your M.
Excellent point. One little add on to this, there are therapists who practice "solutions-oriented brief therapy" (the type of therapy which MWD describes in DB) who look for solutions rather than spending tons of time on past history issues. This can be an extremely effective type of therapy.
June, if I ever had a chance to do MC again, I would want to try Retrouvaille or a Gottman family therapist -- more focused on strategies rather than digging into underlying issues. Our MC did more damage than good. I hope that you'll get the ease that you want in your M.
Excellent point. One little add on to this, there are therapists who practice "solutions-oriented brief therapy" (the type of therapy which MWD describes in DB) who look for solutions rather than spending tons of time on past history issues. This can be an extremely effective type of therapy.
You know Erynfaye, Now that i think about it. I think our MC was solution-oriented. I realize the intent was probably good and I sure this person has worked miracles with other couples. We just seemed to be spinning wheels. Not much progress for us. Hoping the new MC is awesome. Seriously hoping.
M38, H37 S3, S7 Together 15 yrs Married 8 yrs Bomb July 2008 Inhouse separation "I hate you" "We are over" (too many times to count) Reconciled Sept 2009 (still worth it)
