If you CAN stand to listen, there is valuable intel you can gather. You can tell what OM is doing that she likes, and what he does that she DOESN'T like, and you can use it to your advantage. I don't have time to give examples now, but I have a ton.
You have to be able to get yourself to a place, emotionally, where you are nearly COMPLETELY DETACHED, so you can get into the "gamesmanship" mode that you need to be in order to aggressively fight an affair. (ADs help). If you can't get to that place, and this stuff is just going to set you OFF your game, then you need to stop listening.
