SecondChance, Sounds like he's got the best of both worlds. I would set up an appointment and speak to a lawyer to see what you can do to protect yourself, children and above all else your finances/assets. Your h has blown through quite a bit of money already and isn't finished yet. You do not need to be accountable for his debt, so run, do not walk to the telephone and call a lawyer.
Second, he cannot dictate to you as to where you will live. If you want to live in the same area that he is, do it. He has absolutely no control over your life and how you live it now. After all, he made the decision to walk out the door and do his own thing w/o any discussions w/you.
As for the op, there most likely is one in his life right now. He's just not sharing everything w/you. If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn't be so adament that you not live in the same area.
Life is far too short to allow this man to have that much say over what you can and cannot do. Live your life to the fullest because each day is a gift and one we should not turn down.
Set your boundaries as far as visitation w/the children. Insist that he call or text first before just popping over, etc.
I know it's difficult when they are like this, but try to keep the focus on you and your children.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
