(here we go with the married 23 years oddity again..*hear Twilight Zone music in background*

Secondchance-

You've said yourself that he's racking up debt, that he is not extending financial, emotional or physical advantages to you or your family.

You do not have to make the first move towards anything 'legal', but you can consult with an attorney to find out how to protect yourself right at this moment. It seriously sounds like this is something that should be done sooner rather than later.

I agree with the NC suggestion, especially until you get on more stable emotional and financial footing..until you feel that you have the answers to some very important things that can affect you and the family. Your H is NOT going to be concerning himself with the same things that you are right now..which means you have to protect your own wellbeing.

Your H is so lost right now, and eventually you'll be able to accept that you won't be the one that can lead him out of it. You can stand off to the side, love him from a distance and keep him in your prayers, but it will have to be him that finds himself.

Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible