My husband is addicted to an emotional affair

[nicole8]

My husband was just here for a couple of hours. He seemed moody when he got here. He stared at the tv, ate some dinner and then stared at the tv some more. Then he said he had to leave he doesn't have clothes here. That isn't true but whatever. I walked him out and he said "you always do this you walk me out and want to talk". Hmmm, you are glued in front of the tv all moody in the house and I can barely ask or say anything to you. We talked some and he basically told me he isn't ok, there were a bunch of reasons. They ranged from, he is leaving me, I should be mad at him, he can't make me happy, I am being brought down by him, etc. Anyway, I asked him if he felt lost and didn't know where or what he is doing. He said "yes". I asked if he felt like he is just wandering around and doesn't know what he is doing. He said "yes"....

He also told me that he has been miserable and that he's made me miserable too. I told him that I can't lie and say I didn't know he wasn't happy. I told him I knew and I tried everything I could think of to try and make him happier, bought the car he wanted, scuba gear anything to help. I told him I hoped these things would make him happier for more than five seconds and they didn't and that things wouldn't make him happy. Our lives have been really hectic for the last two years and we've done nothing but rush around. I've tried hard to help him with the many activities that he has done and I realize that my helping hasn't really helped him, it has made him feel like he can't do anything and I know that isn't true.

I told him that I couldn't lie and say I wasn't mad at him, and that I also can't tell him what to do and that he is totally capable of doing things on his own. And that is why I can't tell him if he should or shouldn't be married. I asked him if he thought it was going to solve his problems and he said "he didn't know". I also told him that I would be fine with or without him, but I would again be lying if I said I didn't want to be with him.

He asked again what I did yesterday. I'm not sure why he was so bothered to know what I was doing yesterday. That is weird.

Well I'm sure his attitude will be TOTALLY different tomorrow. But today he was a lost boy and he wandered back to the all-inclusive resort (his mom's house). I really want to call/text him now and ask how he is, but that is pursuing. So I won't. So hard not to. He seemed so sad and just lost.