Huband is having an emotional affair

[ALJ]

I see what you mean about me doing step 4 after him doing step 3. When I didn't answer him, he sent me a text that started off with "don't wanna bother you anymore but," As I look back over our entire 20 year relationship I can see clearly how codependent I have been on him. H gets mad about something that is probably not my fault anyways and I hurry and try to make things better just to make him feel better. I don't plan on doing step 4 anymore. I have realized that Codepdency is evident in mostly all of my relationships, including family too.

H says he will be coming up to visit the kids in less than two weeks and he has suggested that we can just sit and talk in person if I want to rather than text and talk on the telephone. I am guesssing he wants to have a relationship talk since he suggested this after I asked him why he would do this our family. I want to be prepared on what to say to him. Should I let him have his say, keep telling him to stop hurting me and the kids, or try to avoid this talk altogether?