I'm so sorry you find yourself here, but you will find support and good advice. I'm pretty new to this myself, but your H sure sounds like he's in the throes of a MLC. The confusion, flip flopping, touch and goes, running, hiding, etc. seem like hallmarks of it. Do you see any signs of depression?
Have you tried N/C (no contact) yet with your H? Going dark and not being available can sometimes get them to move toward you.
You must prepare yourself that there may be an OW in the picture. It seems very strange that he doesn't want you and the children in the same city with him. What is he afraid of? Your H sounds like he's in the Replay Stage and from what I understand that is when an OW would come in if there is one. Hopefully an OW is not the case.
Other more experienced DBer's will be along to help you out.
