I really kinda wonder how much you had to think about this.
This statement from you was the most telling..
"I need to hear HIM talk about what has happened. His words, his thoughts, his feelings."
It says alot. I only function here (DB.com) when there is lots of "Emotion". You know that.
The question in my mind becomes.. How do you get him to that point? How do you make him talk? As an example.. I make you "talk" by getting under your skin.. and poking you a little bit. Why is our (me and you) relationship so much different than what you are living now? In my mind.. I make you feel safe. You know I won't judge you. You know I won't speak harshly to you. You know I will talk about it with you. The thing about DB.com that keeps me coming back.. is the similarity it has with RL. If you can type it out.. you can do it in RL.
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Off we go...
"What attracted him to her. What was he missing from us. Why he didnt think of first trying to fix us than abandon any hope for our marriage."
He was most likely not attracted to her. He wanted out. Something fell in his lap. He acted on it.
"I want to know how he felt the firs time(s) they had sex and came back home to lay beside me after kissing our kids goodnight..."
He felt guilty.. as he does now. But the "idea" that there could be something "better" was too appealing.
"Details, I have Forrest. I know the moles on her body and the diamond cross she wears..."
So where do the "Details" stop? How much is enough?
You want him to feed your needs.
Stop looking at why he is not.. find a way to encourage him to "Do Work".
As a "frame" for me.. how much have you talked about your "stuff"?
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
