MLC - standing by my man

[Mila]

Thank you OP, SA & kissak.
Talking about a rollercoaster. Yesterday WH seemed so interested in us, inquiring about our weekend away and today was just a downer.

We had our business meeting today and as you may remember, business is really suffering through this. I was questioning how long could we go on like this, getting deeper & deeper in red. He said "but things are slowly improving and it will get better" I said that we are running out of time. So yet again I showed him the numbers. He started to get defensive that I don't want to work with him, that I'm negative and that I BLAME HIM for the business being in trouble. I've NEVER said that to him (I'm thinking it). Is he just projecting his guilt?

Then he said let's get a second mortgage on the house to infuse some money into the business. I said that I don't feel comfortable doing that, because I'm not really sure if I can rely on him. How do I know that he won't announce that he is moving 1000 miles away to be with OW and the business will collapse and take our house money with it. I told him that when he was leaving us he promised me that I can have the house and that I can trust him about that. Now he wants to mortgage it.

I told him that I don't know what to do, that our situation is pretty messed up. That maybe I need to go and get a job instead of a mortgage. He said "well you are saying that you can't trust me? I can't trust you either you want to leave the business" So yet again he just turns everything against me. If I leave he will blame me if the business fails. WH also doesn't seem to understand (seems very puzzled) why on earth can't I trust him.

I told WH that I'm considering my options, so everything is on the table... including a job and selling the house. I said if the business goes down I have to be able to take care of myself and daughter. He got very upset that I would think that he wouldn't be there financially. Our conversation got little heated.

Later he announces that in a year we will be pulling in $50,000 net a month? WHATTTT? Well apparently he has this plan for an e-commerce business that will do that for us. So all we have to do is to last until then? IS HE REALLY LOOSING IT?

I just didn't know what to say, I'd shut down and actually started to cry (yes in front of him). I tried to recover, told him that I'm just really stressed out about business, that I'll think about the mortgage idea.

When he left (no hugs or kisses) he said that he'll be back at 2pm to do yard work (shouldn't he be working on business instead?)

He did come and worked outside, in the middle of it he came to tell me that he is sorry, that he shouldn't take some of the things I say so personally and that he will try to be more understanding (ughhh). So I said that I'm also sorry if I'd said something that hurt him (I don't even know what I was apologizing for)

He probably won't remember half of the things that were said today. His memory is really suffering right now. I notice it almost every time I see him. He just doesn't remember conversations and then would argue with me that I'd never told him that.

Anyway I'm pretty down, have to sleep on this and think what's the best thing to do it this impossible situation.