It was defensiveness... its his addiction you are talking to, not him, don't waste the time.
It is also classic pursuit.
Here's the dyanmic
1. He cheats on you. 2. You ask him to stop hurting you and your children 3. He gets defensive and pouts, plays victim, gets angry 4. You feel bad, chase him, apologize, and he forgives YOU
And that cycle will repeat for YEARS if you continue the dyanmic.
Do NOT do step 4. This is the classic cycle.. you need to do something different... mainly, maintain step 2.
He is going to keep playing step 3 as long as YOU do step 4 after it.
its standard addictive behaviour... codependency on your part.
Its called enablement technically, when you make HIM feel better for cheating on YOU.
