Thank you Grit Went to IC tonight..and have concluded that it is pretty much useless. This guy is more fixated on my H than I am..and that says a lot. He thinks I have been doing the right things...but is constantly pushing me to push my H into continuing his IC and going on meds. Obsessed with meds. I have told my IC 1000 times that my H refuses to go on meds..he keeps telling me to remind my H that he is self medicating. (sounds like nagging) He also believes that I should be asking my H to do some activities with me. I told him that I didn't want to pursue my H..my IC said that my H is in a crisis right now and is not in the frame of mind to think rational..I will need to initiate events to form a connection. I know he is not rational!!! My H is contemplating moving to Iraq or Afghanistan to live for a year to escape his life..I get that. Asking him to join me for a bike ride is really not going to help much...at least I don't think it will.
My IC never gives me an opinion on what is right for me...just wants me to wait my H issues out and help him along. He obviously hasn't read DR. I told IC that I feel like I am enabling him..and again he said that my H is in a tough position right now. I didn't make a follow up appointment. I have been seeing this IC since early fall...I have gotten more out of this website and out of the one session that I had with the MC..which is a bit frustrating. He uses the same catch phrases all the time and wants to know if I am dreaming...ughhh.
Oh well. No contact today with H and it feels pretty good. I actually don't have any urge to make contact. Have a presentation tomorrow at work and feel pretty good about that too..which is rare- I hate presenting!!!
I wish I felt this calm every day. On days like this..I am not afraid of my M failing or succeeding. I am OK either way. This content feeling is fleeting though...unfortunately. Turning off the M woes for another night.
