WAW - Very confused and devastated - pt 11

[confusedinpa]

Thanks Mom :-)

The toughest thing I'm dealing with now is getting back to working again and not seeing my boys as much. Although we've had a "50/50" custody arrangement since I lost my job, I see my boys everyday (except for the Sat and Sun they are with her every other week). My 3 year old (who turns 4 on Weds) has really enjoyed all the one on one time. My 7 year old (who turns 8 in 2 weeks) has been upset about it as he feels he's missing out, but we still have those 4-5 hours/week with just him and I.

I had an interesting conversation with a good friend of mine (she helped me through this crap over the past year). She has a 3 month old and had just returned to work. So we met at the park and chatted (hadn't seen her in 8 months!) while the kids played (she also has a 2.5 year old).

She just returned to work and had suffered from post-partum so she knew exactly how I felt about returning to work and not seeing my boys. She listened and I felt better... some what :-(

A major bummer was when she started telling me how she thinks her husband has been cheating on her. She's been trying to decide how to deal with it. She doesn't have hard evidence, but from what she tells me, all the signs are there. I just listened and offered her my support. It's just incredible how much of this crap goes on.....

I also heard back from my lady friend I had dinner with the other week. She's free this weekend so we're going to try and get together. So that's a plus!

My youngest's B'day is Weds. He had asked about having the 4 of us go to Applebee's (he likes them singing to him.... go figure). I sent her an email about going on Weds as it's her nite and she said that she no but would go on Tues (my nite) if I wanted to. Frankly.. I don't want to see her, but for my boys I will deal with her for the hour or so.

Just this past weekend she annoyed me as on Sat my boys tried to call her cell to say good nite and she didn't pick up... twice. Finally she called back and just hurriedly say goodnite. My youngest said he wanted to tell her about his B'day present I gave him (I did it early since I won't see him for 5 days after his B'day). But she hung up before he could talk (it's very rare that he wants to talk to her so she wasn't expecting it). He started to cry and I let him call her back right away but she didn't answer.

He was so upset that my oldest wound up leaving a message saying how upset they were about what she's doing. I sent her an email later on that nite as well.

I calmed my boys down and they went to bed as they were exhausted from the hike we had taken earlier that day.

She wound up calling me on Sun morning complaining about how she wasn't feeling well and had a crappy weekend. I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She said no..... big surprise as that's what the issue apparently had been for the past 12 years. I just said bye and hung up.

So.... I'm continuing to move forward and through all this crap, I feel like I've become a better person for it.

FIDO