A person "torn between two lovers" is similar in that (although s/he probably cares somewhat for both), s/he's primarily interested in his/her own feelings: "Look at *me*! What a painful situation *I'm* in! *I'm* going to have to hurt one of these guys! *I'm* going to have to give one of them up when *I* make a choice! Poor *me*!
You're mischaracterizing the dilemma, as if it were a choice to feel the pain or not. It would be about like telling someone who hammered their finger by mistake that they're "primarily interested in their own feelings". In many cases, they did not plan on entering the situation, but once they're in it, they have to deal with it and that's painful.
Now, YOU may not have much sympathy for someone who's ended up in that dilemma, but that's an entirely different aspect.
And again, I'm not talking about a scheming child molester. Please.
