I find my anxiety, anger, doubt and all the negative emotions seem to worsen when I don't address the little things that bother me. All the little things start adding up and become big things which leads to my feelings of resentment, anger and then those negative emotions regarding the affair come flooding back. H and I are trying to have what our MC calls daily "T" time for about 10-15 mins a day. I have to say it is hard for us to put aside that small amount of time each day for us to talk about "how our day made us feel" but we are getting better at it. If we don't have our daily talks and we let it slide for 3-4 days, I find that those little things that bother me start building up and then I am on the path to having those negative emotions. H senses my negativity and he pulls back, I sense his withdrawal which I associate to feelings of when he was in the midst of the affair. I get upset and it is a vicious cycle and we end up having a big tension blowout which could have been prevented.
I never thought maintaining a healthy relationship would be so much work. Changing our ways so we don't go down the same path again.
