Get a good fathers rights lawyer now. The sh!t is hitting the fan!
Your W may get a lawyer who knows how to work the unconstitutional VAWA (violence against women act) against you. All she has to do is claim she is afraid of you and you become a 2nd class citizen. Goggle a bit about some other guys that have been screwed over by this law that unfairly put men at a disadvantage.
I saw something similar happen to the poster SirPrizeMe and he lost pretty much everything.
Let's just say that the rules are very fickle and unevenly applied when it comes to violence against the spouse affecting the kids. I have had a few examples of truly dangerous abusive behavior yet have been told that it does not affect the kids visitation.
In my state you can't even get a PO without proof of physical violence. I think it depends on where you live.
"Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day in and day out." Robert Collier
"One's best success often comes after their greatest disappointments." Henry Ward Beecher
I have spoken to my L and she has told me not to say a word. The big issue right now is probably going to surround alimony. In the past she said that she did not want it but I have a funny feeling that this is not the case. I should not have paid down the debt but I felt that this was the right thing to do.
This sucks and hurts.
This will break my little girls heart. Going forward I will listen to my attny. I would like this to end nicely but it is going to be hard.
My L suggested to file for a D but I have decided to file for a LS. I did not want this but at the same time I feel I have no other choice.
Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
It does indeed suck and hurt. And the pain will not be over quick like pulling a band aid off.
I do hope that the parenting time/custody issues could be dealt with before and independently of financial things like alimony. The kids come first. The one thing I am so grateful for was to get a parenting plan in place legally before we started the battle over financials.
Pick your battles carefully. Treat anything financial as a business deal and the L's can help by providing an emotional buffer. You may not think it possible now, but your M still has a chance.
In regards to alimony, I even had a thread with the name "Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse". But my situation was different in that my W was living with a rich sugar daddy (who she married) and was trying to get substantial spousal support. I ended up buying her out ($40 G) of alimony which I refinanced the house to pay off.
Just sucks that it has gotten to this point. I hate to say it....but I think it time to vacate the house if you haven't already. There are just too many stories on here and abroad of lawyers and wives using a good law for the wrong reasons.
It sucks, but that is just the truth.
Other than that...read up on LRT technique. The schedule has been sped up because of this regretfully, but you need to protect yourself in all aspects and LRT will do that the best.
Don't fret over the debt......the way things are going, you would have paid it one way or the other.
Eric, If you leave your home, she can trump up charges that you have abandoned the home and her. I would say move out of the bedroom or she would have to do so. I know it's very difficult to live in a home where one spouse is so totally out to lunch, but it's time to think about what is best for you in other ways. I'm sorry she's pulled the rabbit out of the hat, but it does sound like she's still got a trick or two up her sleeve and alimony may be the trick she's going to be pulling.
I strongly urge you to protect yourself, listen to your lawyer and definitely get something in place, whereby you are no longer responsible for any of her debt.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
