Thanks guys! It's so nice to see you guys post here, I really appreciate it.
I'll respond in detail later but I'm out the door to drop DD off at school and then drive to work. STBXW sent me an email last night:
"If it's ok with you can I stop by tomorrow and pick up some things? I wanted to get an Easter basket from the attic, some kitchen stuff and baking supplies, some dresses for DD cause she says there aren't good ones here and my sewing machine."
Should respond with "yeah sure, no problem" or "you don't have to ask me, you have the key" or "fine, it's your house too". I'm leaning towards the first one.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
FM, thanks, I went with #1 but doesn't it sound kinda snubbed? oh well...I keep backsliding I really need to just not care about her that much. After two times I'm not sure if I really want her back and live in fear that she'll leave again any min I say something to her or it rubs her the wrong way.
ST, I was the one who stopped riding because I didn't want to break my ankle or lose a limb and be in a wheel chair forever. Funny now because can you imagine STBXW even getting me a glass of water? So as much fun as it is I still worry. Yeah a W laying there not participating is the worst!!! it feels horrible, cheap and just below everything you stand for (no pun there! LOL). In my case, she would participate but minimally, except for a couple of times when she didn't and I just stopped. No amount of talking or trying to understand what was bothering here would make her talk about it. I slowly started feeling drawing away from her little by little because I didn't know what I was doing wrong and she wouldn't tell me. The conversations started going dry and soon it was only small talk, non-chalant stuff not what was inside us.
Thanks, I'm big on doing family things and spending time together. I tried to plan almost every weekend doing some fun stuff, we took vacations (hawaii, tahiti etc), bought a travel trailer and a truck to pull it. I was all about building memories and strengthening the family bond. I hope DD will remember some of it forever, I know I will.
She may have good intentions when she told DD to not cry but come on, if she gave a duck's butt about me she wouldn't do what she did. I don't think she cares about me one bit and I'm not saying it because I'm angry, I really don't think she does. In fact, I think she's a self centered person who only thinks of herself. She does care about DD in that she'll take care of her as a routine but I don't think she emotionally connects with DD even or else she'd see how hard it is for her and what this will do to her future. I mean how bad is it for her in our house that she has to pick up and leave? I'm hardly even home during the week, I'm gone 10-12 hrs at work, I come home, eat dinner and go to sleep. She's no better off living at someone else's house without a job, without the same amenities of our house etc. If she truly cared about us she'd have said 'you know what, for DD's sake let's try to make this work, let's go to MC etc'.
Yet, everytime she feels like she's not happy she takes off running and guess what that teaches DD? run away from your problems instead of solving them.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
mindful, you're goooood! too bad I already responded without the twist and I'm sure she'd planned to be there while I'm not there.
Last edited by StupidRomeo; 03/22/1004:32 PM.
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
She's a flee-er - I have one of those. They're not for everyone! It's funny what happens when you don't clip their wings (to keep them close), and they now have a CHOICE! I've been practicing that lately. A bit. I'll give you the update from jail or heaven. LoL
HAHA! mindful, you made me LOL and I so needed that, thanks
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
SR- I might be missing something, but is there a reason you can't just take D camping with the 2 of you only? Form a "Daddy" activity that's a new special ritual for you two? Up here there are places that even have tent cabins so you don't have to have equipment, etc.
One thing that offers me activities is my moms group. Now I know, it's called a "moms" group, but maybe there's a dad's group or even a single parent group around? We have a mom's night out once a month and playdates, and since I've gotten to know some moms, D gets invited to b-day parties on the weekends now, etc. I don't know if that's your kind of thing, but you know, the distraction is nice on those long weekends! I also know the bored feeling when they want you to play with them, the same thing over and over LOL. And I feel guilty for feeling bored, but lately I've asked a couple moms of D's friends from preschool to meet at park on Sat mornings. It's amazing how the kids entertain each other so you get a little break mentally and don't have to entertain them. To me it feels like downtime! I didn't know these parents before- just kept talking to them at school at pickup and gradually got to know them, etc. Or is your daughter interested in something like Brownies that you could do togther?
Another ritual I started lately is taking my D to the library every Saturday morning. She loves books, it's free, and it's a new special "mommy" activity that she looks forward to every week. Maybe there are some things you guys can start doing that feel special that she'll look forward to when she spends time with you?
When the men on the chessboard Get up and tell you where to go; And you've just had some kind of mushroom And your mind is moving slow; Go ask Alice... I think she'll know.
Jamie, I may at some later point but packing up for camping and driving several hours to get somewhere is going to be tough to do alone. Plus if there's an emergency or a problem it's better to go with other families or at least with another adult.
I see moms groups and that's the difference between moms and dads; guys don't really feel the connection with other guys (unless buds) like women can with other women. Besides, I'm quite shy and reserved in person, I have a hard time initiating contact. I'm trying to change that but it's not easy either. I bet someone here knows a book about that too? lol
BTW, what I meant (in your thread) by the dating prospects was from a guy's point of view. I lived in Santa Clara for a while and still have several friends that live in and around the bay area...at least then (11 years ago) there was a shortage of girls there, good looking ones were almost non-existent, they were usually taken. For you there's no shortage...especially if you don't mind someone with an accent lol!
Me: 35|WAW: 38|D: 6yo | http://tinyurl.com/2dxx7m6 Feb 2006, left, came back in two weeks Aug 2006, left again Apr 2007, filed for divorce Dec 2007, reunited Mar 2010, moved out, filed again
