CW - thanks. From the description - she is definitely MLC - but I don't know - she normal in some ways, MLC in others, WAS in others. Difficult to say other than she has changed and is a different person - but I guess thats why we are all here on this board. DivorceCare group last night was good - it felt real good to talk about things with people who can relate - just like our discussions here. Still feeling pain inside from last few conversations with W, but I didn't feel so alone when I went to the group, so that was good. Definitely going to make it a point to go Tuesday nights. W and I got LS just a month ago, so she is not filing for D that I know of yet. She is concerned about medical insurance from me right now, so I don't expect her to rush into D. She has always said from the day the dropped this on us that she wanted a LS for a year to see what she wants to do. As you said, can't believe anything really so we will see. Just trying to hold things together right now as best can be. My D11 is marching in the NYC St Patrick's Parade today - she's a baton twirler for her school - so I'm going to try during my lunch hour to run up to midtown Manhattan where they set up and see her off to start - may be the last year she does this - and the last year we are in NY. Gotta go - later.....
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
That is so awesome that your D is in the parade! I hope you make it over to see her!
Glad you DivorceCare group went well! It is good to get "face time".
There are many success stories to read on the MLC board too! Try not to let what she says get to you. Try and take this time and make it yours! A divorce can't happen for a year for you it looks like so you have time and it will give her time too! Hang in there!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Yes - I made it to the parade set up area and spent 20 minutes with my D11 - she was surprised and happy that I was there - so that was good. Couldn't stay long, but the few minutes were worth it.
Yes - I try to ignore the things W says - but very hard. Last weekend's conversation still feels like a dagger stuck in my heart - "didn't have love for you for years" - "I wasn't making love to you during that time, it was just sex to me" - I don't know, just so painful for me to accept. Anyway - I'm hanging in there......
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Typical MLC spewing...don't believe a word of it! I know it is hard...the words hurt...she is just justifying what she is doing and easing her own guilt. You should check out Jack 3 Beans and Lost For words threads in the MLC forum...think you would be able to relate and find some good advice!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
Its very hard not to believe, and even harder to ignore when it resonates within me and stays with me like an albatross around my neck. I know its me, and I know I have to look past what she says, and move ahead and GAL. I look at my 12 Survivor steps and take a deep breath and march onward - its what we all have to do I guess. Talking to you all here eases it a bit - where I find some comfort and motivation.
I will check out Jack and Lost threads - probably tonight or over weekend.
Tonight my D11 is in a school play - so my W, D21 and I will be together watching the play - looking forward to a nice night.
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Hey Tom, I have been on a break from the boards for a couple of weeks. I am going back to catch up on some people. I hope you are doing well. I will look back over the weekend, just wanted to pop in and say hello. Have a great weekend!
Formerly "missherlove"
Me49 XW49 M17 T19 S16 D20
Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.
W went to FL to visit parents for a few days so I've been back at my house watching my girls. I really do miss being with them, so I am enjoying this time with them. I am sleeping over so they are not alone. Will go back to my apartment on Wed nite, once W is back home. No movement on sale of house or W's feelings. I continue to try to concentrate on myself and on relationship with my kids. Not really a whole lot more to report. Didn't check the threads over the weekend like I wanted - have to catch up this week. Later...
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Just another self-observation - I went to my D11's school play with my W and D21 on Friday night - all was fine. I went to the second performance alone on Sunday - since my W is away for a few days. I felt very alone - our Legal Sep news is getting around the school and to be honest - I felt like an outsider sitting there alone - people definitely avoiding me - probably don't know what to say to me, etc. I guess its up to me to talk, be upbeat, show strength, etc. I know that in my heart - but it was SO AWKWARD being there alone. Maybe I imagined some of it. I guess this was first time that we had a school function with the news about us out. I'm sure there is more awkward times ahead. Any experiences anyone can share that they dealt with?
Me: 48 W: 47 M: 25 years T: 30 years S24, D21, D11 Bomb dropped: "Not in love with you" 10/09 Separated Feb 2010
Hey Tom! Glad you are enjoying the time with your girls!
I don't know what to tell you about going to stuff alone! A few weeks ago, we finally had our xmas party and I was the only one without a "date". It wasn't easy but I did have fun! My H hardly ever went to school functions and since I know a lot of people/parents in my town from doing their hair, it really is not a big deal to go by myself to those things...heck, most of them wouldn't know my H if they saw him!
I think this would be a good time to renew some aquaintances and make new ones. You have your kids in common with all of them! Yes, talk, be upbeat and show that strength!!!
M48 H53 M16 T18 S16 D13 SS30 H drops bomb PA/8-30-09 H leaves 12-30-09 D filed by H 2-10 H asks to come home 4-11 Piecing
