New member, same old story...WAW

[Lost_Dad]

Lost_Dad,
Sorry to see you here but glad you came seeking advice. Our stories are very much similiar as my wife was "taken" away from her friends when we moved out of state. She then made some new friends at a church she was going to but I never supported them because at the time I was recovering from past drug abuse and always felt like they looked down on me.
Then to top that off my work requires me to be away alot which never let me spend time with the kids. And now I struggle with just finding away to reconnect with them.

The best advice I can give you right now is to find yourself, find the man inside that can show your kids the love and attention that they need. Do not concentrate on trying to change your wife, you cannot do that, she can only change herself. Maybe just maybe if she sees you being the man you can be she will be attracted back to you. (I think I got this right, someone step in and help me out here)

I will leave the rest up to the more expierienced here, but find yourself first and work on changing things that YOU know you have issues with. Dont beat yourself up over them, just learn from mistakes made in the past and move on to a better tommorow.
P.S. You ever notice how much easier it is to give advice then to heed your own words? Good luck LD, your not alone on this trip.

Thanks for the response Wired.
I have been working on myself for the last few months and following DB methods before finding this forum. Living with a spouse whom has shut down and given up on the R is the toughest thing that I've ever had to do in my life. I have read so much in the last few months and understand where and what has gone wrong on my part but I also understand that I'm not solely to blame.
Now my issue is how to open up and start talking with her knowing that most likely everything that she is going to say will be about tearing our family apart.
I have been stalling these discussions to buy some time for taking care of myself but I think it is making her more resentful the longer it goes on.
-Lost_Dad