She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

Another question I just thought of that gives me a little bit of a disadvantage. People talk about doing things to let the other one know what life is without the other. Well, I've been gone for six months and she's been living life without me. Obviously she prefers it that way or she wouldn't be doing what she's doing.

I'm not sure if this even means anything or not. I was just reading someones post where they were telling them to stop doing what they usually do and show the other what it's like to not have them. I just feel that me being gone has shown her exactly that.

I could just be doing the mind wandering thing again, but these are the things I think of. I keep them to myself, but now I have you guys to share them with.

You are doing the mind wandering thing. You have no idea what is going through her mind. You aint gonna know either. My W was busy trying to get out of the M. She was making plans, fantasizing about what life will be like without me, doing stupid crap that started a bunch of drama...plenty of stuff to keep her busy.

Eventually it will all come to an end. She won't be busy trying to plan to get out of the sitch because she will be out and all the logistics will be done. Then she'll be sitting there with no boogey man to focus on.

Of course they are going to be relieved and happy. They're getting what they want (or at least what they think they want). There will always be a sense of relief and happiness because they have arrived. It's like buying a new car. Anticipation on getting it, getting it smelling that new car smell, feeling how tight the suspension is, etc... after a while it becomes just another vehicle.

For the WAS those focus points will fade. Then the reality that life isn't much different for them because all they are doing is switching seats on the Titanic. They think changing external circumstances will change how they feel. It won't. They need to change internally, like you and I are doing. If they don't do that they'll just repeat the same cycles over and over again.

Stop trying to guess the future. Just assume she is happy with her 'new' life right now. Just accept it and do what you need to do for yourself and your kids. When you see your mind wandering over to her, just laugh at it then bring it back onto you.

What she's doing or feeling is her business and not yours. Your stuff is yours, her stuff is hers. Work on it.