Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

are you still taking your anti-depressants?

what are you doing for work right now?

I'm actually weaning myself off the anti-depressants. I talked to my doctor and he told me how to do this safetly. I'm taking myself off for a few reasons. I don't think I need it anymore. It got me through the really tough time for the few months after my W left and I really needed the meds. I've been working with my IC on techniques to reacognize when I get depressed and ways to deal with it. I also felt like I was "numb" at times on the meds. I didn't feel like I could think correctly at times. I was tired more often too. I have about 2 more weeks until I am completely off the meds. If I find that I need the meds again I won't hesitate to take them again.

I'm in sales right now. It's not very satisfying but it is a job for now until I can find something better. I have a couple of prospects for a better job. I feel like nothing is as satisfying as when I owned my own company. I loved what I was doing and I miss it. Perhpas one day when the time is right I csn try it again. In the meantime I need to keep a job no matter what it is for now. This was a big reason my W left and I can't blame her for that reason. I also have a second side job that I enjoy. I just started it and like it a lot. I also sell real estate as a third job. Market is slowly getting better so hopefully I can spend more time with that career. My first choice is to sell real estate full time when the market improves. Problem is my W was so worried all fo the time about me not having a regular 9-5 job. If we ever did reconcile, I'm not sure how she would feel about my selling real estate full time especially since my previous company (in another type of business) closed.

MZA, what were you like as a single man? Did you have women pursue you? Did you ever play hard to get?

I guess I have a hard time understanding why this is so difficult for a man to catch hold of.

Sandi, I really never was a single man I guess. When I met my W I was 18 and she was 16. We dated each other exclusively and then married in our mid 20s and have been together ever since. So I never really had too many woman pursue me other than my W. I don't think I remember playing hard to get but I do remember that my W did pursue me when we first dated.

I guess what I have trouble understanding about the pursuing thing is that I'm not sure ignoring my W means she would be pursuing me for the right reasons. Does it even matter the reasons? For example, she emailed me this morning (I knew she would) about the house. She told me she knew Sundays are usually busy for me so she didn't want to contact me until today. She asked if tonight would be a good time to talk. She asked about the mortgage and about bringing in someone to clean the house. She mentoned she talked to the realtor about what price to list the house. Even though I'm a realtor, we decided to use someone else as it seemed like something my W wanted. I actually want to list the house but my W said it's too emotional and would be easier for someone else to list it. If I had listed the house my W wanted me to sign something agreeing to give my commission and apply it to the mortgage if we didn't sell the house to cover the full amount of the mortgage. I told her that I would do the right thing and use my commission for the mortgage only if we didn't get enough money in the sale of the house to cover the mortgage but I would not sign anything. She originally wanted her L to draft an agreement for this. I told her she would have to trust me, that I would not sign that ridiculous agreement. Otherwise I told her to use another real estate agent. She didn't want me to list our own house if I didn't sign the agreement so that's when we decided to use another realtor. I felt like her wanting me to sign that agreement was extremely controlling. Anyway, also in her email today she also asked me what I thought about her planting flowers in the front yard to add some curb appeal. I guess not a big deal but is it really that important to even ask my opnion? If she wants to plant flowers then she should just go ahead and do it. Why ask me? Why would she care about anything I have to say right now? She's clearly wanting a life without me so why care what I think about something so trivial as planting flowers? Again, I know it's not a big deal but I feel there are more important things to worry about...our M for starters.

So again, there is my question about the pursuing. I feel like if I don't respond to her she will think I'm playing games. Is it being a man to ignore things we need to discuss? IDK, I can see both sides of the coin on that one. I can not respond and make her wait for a few days before getting back to her. Shouldn't her pursuing me be for wanting to talk to me about reasons other than the house? Please set me straight so I can understand this once and for all.

Thanks, Steve, Sandi and Robx.