My apologies. I thought you had said you had a one bedroom apartment when you were talking about your H's sleep issues. Well, scratch that part of my post then!
See, I understand what you are saying and the logic behind it about dealing with this finance stuff as business and not going down the blame road. I really get that. But if you ASK your H his expectations they could be (A) unreasonable or (B) figures given to him by an attny. That is why you should not have this talk with him before you seek counsel. That way you can have a very clear idea about where his numbers are coming from.
NY (where I live) classes me as an unhealthy person as I have a chronic and incurable disease. It would not matter if I was 15, 25, 35 or 85. Unless a cure for Lupus is discovered this state deems me as unhealthy for the remainder of my life. Health status is part of the criteria for spousal support here. Do you know if it is part of the criteria/consideration in Canada? If so your H's health status could be an issue.
I am not saying it will be, I simply am pointing out that there are many factors we (generally speaking) don't really think of when we start dividing things up or thinking of finances. I felt, well, stupid with being deemed unhealthy. It's not like I can't go about my life as normally as possible. I am just saying there might be factors that you learned to live with that in fact will be included when figuring in long term monetary plans.
As an outsider to your situation I would really suggest you see an attny BEFORE you talk to your H. That way you will have a very clear idea if his expectations are his own or coming from an attny.
Your H might be paying the bills but he is also requesting more help. IMO that is *his* leverage and I would hate to see you fall in that trap.
