How do I act?

[Wildaces81]

if i went i would have to go alone and i would not feel safe or prob have fun all by myself...

I'm thinking that it is a cruise....in the medeterrianian sea right? I'm guessing that you will be second guessing yourself the entire time you before you get there and then it is enevitable that you have fun. So why not go alone. You will have no distractions and you could end up meeting new friends. If anything you will be out in the sun the entire time. You get to work on a tan.

i mean, it all is too confusing. and i feel like this is all about him getting to go on his trip to go visit OW, he is not budging on that plan and if i leave he wont have to feel guilty

So make the cruise all about you getting away and doing something for YOU.

He may not feel guilty now but eventually if he has a conscience he will. He isn't going to show it to you. Believe me. I have said all kinds of things to try and get my wife to admit or show guilt or remorse. It doesn't work, it wont ever work. Appealing to that side of him is impossible because he has been blocking it out for the past 3 months or so.

Meg, start doing 180's. GAL! get out of your house. If you are there waiting for him when he gets home. Don't be. Or if you are sitting at home with him. Just leave. If you are the one that cleans the house STOP make him see what life is truly like when you are not there. Like i said in an earlier post, you are in one of the most culture rich centers in the world. Go out and experiance it. Learn new things. Make yourself happy because he ISN'T going to. It is a tuff lesson but one that is worth while.
If you still have the feeling like you want to fight for your marriage then do it. He doesn't have to be present. and you cannot make him change. But you damn sure can change yourself. You can be a better you and learn to be happy w/o him. Keep your head up. Be positive. We are praying for you.

Aces..