Overall, it sounds like you need to be reassured in specific ways. You need to know why he decided to come home when he did (reassurance). His ideas behind marriage and family (reassurance). His plan for keeping other women at bay if he does feel an attraction (reassurance). Really I think the questions that have you in them are great and really are getting at the heart of how hurt you are and needing the reality that he is planning on staying for life.
Some of the more detailed questions...you may want to stay away from for quite a while because those are the ones that could be more hurtful to H. Asking how he felt to kiss your kids, sleep with OW, then come home to you. I understand the need to know how he felt, but those are the parts that I think why do you really want to know?
Hang in there. You are definitely an inspiration to me since I am in the exact same boat, but with a very different outcome.
Me29 S3 H left 4/1/09 I file 8/2/10 Divorce final 5/17/11 1st http://www.tinyurl.com/25lhu52 2nd http://www.tinyurl.com/2c35ueg 3rd http://www.tinyurl.com/322yk89
