Question

[Lucky11too]

That's really a great idea with solemn assembly. It really is amazing how distracted we can all get with the internet, tv, etc.

I understand what you're saying about H. You can only do what you can do, and if H doesn't want to change or make a decision, there's not much more that you can do. I think that's why a lot of these DBing cases still fail. We DB our hearts off and it's not for our lack of trying. If the other spouse is not willing to change or work together for a change, there's not much more we can do. We can only control ourselves and our own lives. Even though it's resulting in the end of the M for you, you are finally able to take control of your life for yourself and S and not be on H's rollercoaster. It would still be great if H could catch up and jump on, but sometimes you just have to be realistic too. You have your path now and it's really up to him to figure it out and get to action before it really is too late.

Thanks for posting your custody arrangement. It's really well written and covers all the bases. And I do think you're being more than fair to H. Children need routine and consistency, and H needs to understand that and cooperative. He's either got to be all in or out with S - not just popping in and out of his life as he chooses. That's just not fair to S. I think it would be different too if he was like some of the dad's on here that just can't get enough of their children, but it seems like with your H, although he loves him, you almost have to force him on him. Hopefully, as S gets older, H will be able to find that bond with him and find common interests, so that he can be the great dad he needs to be. Even though he probably won't sign this version as least you were able to get all your ideas out and have something in writing, which should hopefully make the custody hearing (if it gets that far) go more quickly and smoothly. I don't think there's much H could really argue with there.

I had a thought with H (but see if it would work with H) is to just play a little hard ball with him. Unless you want him to continue with the meaningless "I love you" texts, maybe start up with your only talking about S idea. As soon as the D occurs, that is that reality of his contact with you. You could even tell him that unless he has something productive to say (an actual idea of how to save the M he doesn't want to end - no more blaming you or I don't knows) then the communication will stay focused on S or other logistical necessities (ie house, taxes, etc). Just a thought b/c his recent texts have got to be frustrating for you.

I hope the week goes well for you. Good luck!