What attracted him to her. What was he missing from us. Why he didnt think of first trying to fix us than abandon any hope for our marriage. I want to know how he felt the firs time(s) they had sex and came back home to lay beside me after kissing our kids goodnight... I want to know what were the excuses he used in his head I want to know if he thought he would get away with it all? I want to know how he felt about himself When did things started to change for them? What was it that made him question his choice I want to know if he liked himself during all this? I want to know where she met my son I want to know how he felt when she got pregnant I want to know if he had met her parents Who knew I want to know how his feelings changed, the evolution, the process I want to if he thinks she was a mistake and why I want to know if he regrets it I want to hear him say "I am sorry, I love you"
I want to know what lessons he has learnt I want to know what mistakes I have made during these 3 years I want to know if he can see himself "living and dying with me" I want to know next time he finds himself attarected to another, what will his defenses/boundaries be I want to know if he sees family and marriage as something he is stuck with because he is weak or if it is a choice he made I want to know, if he can bear to be honest I want to know if he learnt what he needs to do to keep us alive I want to know if he can now separate true love and being in love I want to know he finds me attractive or just "Maria"
I need to hear HIM talk about what has happened. His words, his thoughts, his feelings.
Details, I have Forrest. I know the moles on her body and the diamond cross she wears...
I need to know what happened all these years to stop assuming. I need to "make a reality".
Dating? I am trying. I cant date myself. Ok, I can but done that too much lately, getting kind of tired.
mish my dad feels tired today but overall he went well. Thanks. Thinking of you and your mom.
