Hey forward - I haven't been on here since probably not long after my last post. Got a phone call today from a friend from here so I thought I'd check in. Was so nice to see you checking in on me...
Biggest update I have is that I have officially entered the world of dating. Met someone several months ago who I was interested in - waited several months to do anything about it - and when I was finally ready, initiated contact. It quickly and effortlessly turned into something really exciting and, for lack of a better word, wonderful. Once I opened myself up to the idea of dating, it was much easier than I expected. I'm slowly learning the rules and am enjoying every minute of it. (For any newbies reading, please keep in mind that I have been S from H for almost 4 years now.) I've done the hard work to get through the hardest parts and am still working to figure some things out. I decided to stop waiting for H and to start living my life again. I don't think this is the appropriate place to go in to the details, but I will say that I'm really just enjoying every moment, having fun, making no commitments and learning to LIVE (whereas the past few years felt more like trying to survive).
Things with H remain pretty much the same. A friend told H that I had started dating and I feel like that caused H to become cold and distant, but it was short-lived and we're civil/friendly again. Because my R with this new guy is still new and any sort of future uncertain, I haven't felt the need to inform H about him. H is still stalling on the D. Don't have any idea why. The past few times we've spoken about it, I've suggested that it I should file first since I already have a L. But H insists that he will do it, despite the fact that he hasn't even called a L yet.
As much as I've fallen for new guy and all the excitement that goes along with a new R, I have to admit that for me, still, nothing beats the feeling of being with H and the kids together. But I'm also open to whatever lies ahead. I'm learning that life really is full of possibilities. And that even after such a traumatic incident, I can pick myself up. Life goes on. I feel lucky that this person has come in to my life, at what seems like exactly the right time. He's the complete opposite of H and is showing me a whole new world and whether intentional or not, is helping me to find myself again.
Really appreciate you thinking about me. So sad to see so many new names on here just starting out on the journey. I remember not so long ago, I would check this site so often, my fingers automatically would type the name of the site in the bar, even if it wasn't where I wanted to go.
Hope all my friends on here are well. Apologies for not being around. Will catch up on your threads...
