My (x)W too had an A and we also got back together in November.
Ironically too, we had the same discussion Saturday night, with a little more detail then I cared for, but as with yours, my (x)W did not have the A out of intimacy, just more on the emotional end (but did fess to some "heated moments" that made me want to gag ).
All I've done is just be open and honest with her. If I'm feeling down, or thinking of them, she knows it. In my opinion, she should. She should know the underlying damage that still lingers. And truth be told, she has never once yet asked if I don't trust her, she knows I do. But it is just going to take time to lay a restless mind at ease.
As you figure, in time it shall pass and the instances will become less and less that it occurs.
Me 35/XW 33 S13 & S12 M: 10/17/98 OM & S: 07/08 D final 06/09/09 12/03/09 - 06/13/10 "Piercing" 06/13/10: Engaged to Re-marry 10/17/10 06/25/10: Expecting baby #3 2/14/11
).