read the points that I've high lighted, stop doing all of them.
- no more asking to come home - when she threatens you, tell her to stop threatening and just do it already, you're tired of this limbo - stop asking her to start over with the family - when she closes up and becomes a jerk, tell her she's a jerk - when she attempts to hurt you, tell her to stop because that routine is getting old - stop telling her you love her, she doesn't like hearing it - stop complimenting her - stop calling her - stop texting her - stop emailing her, - stop smothering her - tell her to setup a schedule with you for you having the kids, you aren't a babysitter, you're a husband, they're your kids too, just setup a regular shared custody agreement where you both agree to have the kids a certain amount of the time, ie. 1 week and weekend for her, then the next week and weekend for you and continue alternating. If she says her job won't allow that, this isn't your problem, she can get a new job if her kids are that important, all that matters to you now is that you have shared custody of your kids, if she doesn't want to work on the marriage and be a family, you can't force her, tell her it's time to call this thing what it is and move on. Observe reality, she's been doing this to you for 2 years because you allow it, she'll do this to you for another 20 years if you continue to allow it.
I know this is all strange, counter-intuitive but you have to remember that what you've been doing hasn't been working yet you continue to do it and suffer with a big smile on your face for 2 years - how attractive is that, who wants to be with a doormat punching bag? I'm sure she wants to be with a man, you don't seem to be it.
