"What are you talking about FG, not following you..."
"This" = the situation you find yourself in. From what I am reading here you are at the stage that happens right after you get back together. It seems familiar (like the time right before he left). You two are just existing. You both are guarded. Most likely you both are over-thinking things. I suspect that just before he left some of the things that are happening now were happening then. In essence you are "stuck". Hope that cleared it up. Remember the words in "" are hard to define from my point of view.
Now that I have read on "This" =
1. Our life together has reached a plateau. (yes it is spelled right)
2. He still has this "eggshell walking" attitude and he still doesn't want to accept what it is we are dealing with.
As a comment.. he is disappointing you in that statement. You think he should address it.. he does not want to. As I said earlier.. What do you gain from this discussion? Are you feeding the need to know to much? How does him talking about it help you accept it more? In the end if he does discuss it.. do you not have to accept it and move on? Put it behind you? Why does talking about it make it easier to accept? To me you are expecting a reaction to him going out and cheating on you. From experience I doubt that will happen. I expected that reaction too the first time me wife did her thing. Look where that got me. I do want you to answer those question's.. think about them.
3. I still feel I'm his second choice.
Because of where are (DB.com) this is something that you have to change within you. This is usually the result of the other person feeling they are a second choice also. Remember couples play off of each other. You are building a new relationship here. You almost have to treat this time as if you were dating.. but you have to deal with all the old crap the other person brings back with them. Remember the things that have changed "something" have come from you. Focus on those times.. start small and build up. Don't jump right back in.. old habits are hard to break.
"He would have never shared that convo with me if I had not asked."
But do you feel his answer was the truth?
"This man really needs alot of intensive seminars on women."
I won't disagree with you on that one.
"He is lacking simple relationships knowledge."
Just because you asked.. does not really take away from the fact he responded. I don't know that if I was the cheater I would start up a conversation about an email from the person I cheated with. It definitely would not be on my top 100 things to talk about with my estranged wife I was trying to woo back. Expect that he will not be "free-flowing" with info. Expect that he will act defensive based on the tone in your voice. If you eliminate the wrong things to do.. you get helpful hints on something new to try. I feel your pain Mrs. Maria.. I do.
Love ya
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
