peace, if your H had pulled his head out of his a$$ and made the changes and realizations some of us had would it have changed anything early on? It's kind of irrelevant, but as I read your sitch I kept wanting to hit you H in the head.
pretty funny I know I'd wouldn't have lost my respect for him if he would have woken up.
BUT - then I wouldn't have done the enormous amount of growing myself, if he had.
Nobody's perfect. Everyone has their garbage/issues. But what I hope comes out of this for you, is your realization of the opportunity for personal growth. And it'd be icing on the cake if your M was saved along the way.
If she brings up the R talk - then take that moment as it comes. And keep the tips in your brain that we've given you and remember what you've read in Michelle's book. We all backslide. After years of this - I still backslide and fall on my butt...then I kick myself and move on.
I know I'd wouldn't have lost my respect for him if he would have woken up.
