I'm so sorry to hear what you're saying Wired. It is hard to be vulnerable, and express your feelings. Keep trying. The fact that you're aware you want to is a really good start! Don't minimize the importance of that!
Just take baby steps. Perhaps you're expecting too big of a 'leap' out of yourself. You don't have to make any big grand gesture, just find something little to do that you feel is manageable. It might feel pretty awkward at first but don't let that stop you! It actually means more to the person receiving it, when they know you're doing it even though it's difficult for you.
Could you write your kids little notes and stick them in their coat pocket? It doesn't have to say anything fancy... even just 'hey, I love you a lot'. I bet that would mean a lot to them and maybe open a door between you.
I cannot complain for not receiving from others, that which I've never asked them for.
