Chapter 28 - Emergencies and winnings

[Toomanywords]

I was trying to get all my posts - make a journal or something. Oh well. If anyone reading looks through their own viewable posts and sees anything they replied to on one of my posts before Chapter 16, before 1/18/06 please let me know.


Not much of an update. Same stuff, different day. I've pretty much shut down, gone dark - whatever you want to call it. Let's see, last big post was 1/26/10. We've been ok, bad, ok, bad.
Our friend - the ex-roommate, gay friend - he got in the middle of our R. At the begining of Feb he told me that BF told him stuff - like that BF was planning on moving out. I confronted BF, he denied - we sort of confronted the friend and he blew up saying he wanted nothing more to do with BF.
Couple weeks later - they are friends again and he told BF that he (the friend) didn't tell me those things! I asked BF - why be friends with someone who not only lies about you but lies to you.

There is even less communication and whatever. Not yesterday, but the 3 Sundays prior - he took off. Wouldn't say where he was going or with who (if anyone). During the time he was gone, wouldn't answer his phone by call or text.

Last weekend I was fed up and I had a sleepover at a hotel with friends. It was a lot of fun. But I didn't tell BF anything - i didn't tell him i was going anywhere or anything. And he never called or text to try to find out where i was.

When he came home Sunday, no conversation. later in the day we talked a little and he made a comment that I didn't even come home the night before - and i told him, "you didn't care, you didn't call or text".

my mom talked to him (i did not ask her, i did not prompt her)- he supposedly told her that he wanted to be with me and have a relationship. She told him to grow up and act his age (30) instead of acting like a teenager.

Most recently, this past weekend he went to the friend's place out of town. Told me on Friday. No communication all of Saturday or Sunday when he came home and when he came home, the only thing he had to ask was if I was hungry.
So after a 5-7 nap, asked again.
Later I went and very flatly, calmly, non-emotionally asked him to leave. He was defensive and asked WHY - I told him he was gone all weekend without a word and comes home and no, "hello, how are you, i missed you," nothing except "u hungry"
he said i didn't say anything either, to which i replied - no, i did not because any questions i ask i either don't get an answer or i am called a controlling, nosy b**ch. I asked him to name 1 thing, just 1 thing, he has done to try to make this work and even he said nothing.
then he wanted me to leave him alone so i went upstairs.

So that's where things stand. Not sure what the future holds.
Right now I could take it or leave it - but I'm not putting forth any more effort into the relationship until or unless he does and then I will put forth equal effort.
I was at a book store and found a bunch of relationship books on clearance (Dr Phil's Love Smart, Men are from Mars Women are from Venus, etc). They were only $1 and I started to read the Dr Phil - but I stopped. Why am I going to read about fixing a relationship if I'm the only one willing to put forth the energy. No, not anymore.
I love him - but if he wants to be with me, he needs to show it and he needs to prove it.