[quote=robx] But I'm still willing to go through this s-storm for her even that in the end we don't end up together. Why?
Cos that's what real love is. It's not effortless. It's tough sometimes. You promised to be there in illness or health.. a wise friend told me. I intend to honor that word. Right know she's ill.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *
If I'd sum up everything in one sentence "You should be happy no matter what. How joyful YOU feel about things determined if you're on the right track. Be selfish. Be responsible for your own happiness and you'll be fine"
Maybe I should start a website. This abraham guy making any money doing this?
But I'm still willing to go through this s-storm for her even that in the end we don't end up together. Why?
Not sure. Maybe because you love her?
My wife asked me the same thing. "Why are you fighting for me so hard, especially after what I've done?" I told her:
1. Because I love you.
2. Because I took our marriage vows seriously; I didn't say "for better or for better YET," I said "for better or for WORSE."
3. Because I don't want to go to my deathbed with regrets, wondering if I should have fought harder. I'd rather err on the opposite side.
4. Because this isn't the message I want to send to our kids -- that it's ok to cut-and-run when things get tough.
5. Because I would hope that if the situation were reversed, and say I had a drinking or a gambling problem, that she would do the same and fight for ME.
I don't know if anybody's read my plan outline but I've got a few updates:
Checked with a lawyer from this country informally and:
- He STRONGLY recommends not taking all the money from the account. Since I'm the one out who move out taking the money can be easily turned into an abandonment claim if she gets a lawyer with at least half a brain and it'll make the whole fight about the money, not the relationship.
- He STRONGLY adviced taking only 50% of it as if it's a Joint account as I'm entitled to it but not more than that.
- Another advice he gave me was that I could ask a trusted third party or family member to act as a depositary of her half of the money. This is standard procedure for people who are going through mental problems or depression.
After all this advice, I have to say that I'm strongly leaning towards NOT taking all the money into my account.
I am also wondering if the logic of taking all the money is the right one in this case. Money will not be an issue to her. She's earns more than a lot to support herself and fly to see the guy every 2 months if she really wanted to.
I can agree to secure myself financially. 50% of the money will do that.
Pls, don't think I'm walking away from doing this. Just don't want to make it more complicated than it is already for no reason. Asking for the support of a family member who supports the marriage to hold her half of the money, is that a really bad idea?
Thanks.
Separated: March 1 * Affair discovered: 20-March * Exposed: 27 March * Def. separation: May 1st *