still separated, in limbo, still hopeful

[S.T. _I Made It!]

june, you don't have to not post...just refrain from posting negative advice.

like WN said, we are here to encourage the goal of SAVING the M. not killing it.

again, if it was about an abusive sitch, then that is different, but her H is not abusive. he is doing exactly what they all do, just as WN said, and because NM's goal is to save her M, then we need to promote steps that put her in that direction, not steer her from it. and everyone DOES get people trying to steer us away from it all over...a reason I chose to cut all contact from ALL my family and friends, except those who had been supporting and helping me fight for my M.

and maybe that is not something you can do, or control yourself from, but if this is something you don't like about yourself, why not start now to change it? why not look at the positives instead of the negatives? look at what CAN happen, because her M could be saved. we don't know if it will or won't happen, but the possibility is definitely there.

I really think, IMO, he has made a new life now. And is treating you as a friend. I think it is really, really shitty of him. When you cried in front of him and then confided your real feeling. I did not see any indication of him desiring to change the status quo.

I just think this is a very very unhealthy dynamic.

you want them to treat you as a friend. that's how the transformation begins. and in regards to it being unhealthy, that is up to her. she can allow it to be unhealthy, but her PMA is very strong, and I don't see that happening with her at all.

keep posting, but try to be more encouraging, and seeing things from her perspective of trying to save the M.