hey, max told me to stop by, saving your thread...

flowmom had a great idea to write the letter (and DON'T send).

when we tell our WAS ILY, that not only is pursuing, but they are not ready to say it to us, and therefore puts guilt on them as well.

we need to look at our goal. our goal is to save the M, bring our Spouse home. They will only come back when they are comfortable to come back. if we are putting guilt on them and pursuing them, they will not feel comfortable enough to come back.

does that make sense? I know it isn't fair, but we need to see what our goal is, and will the choices we make get us closer to that goal, or further away?

Me 33 H 34 S9 S3
M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs)
EA/PA 1/2006
DB 5/2006
H wants D 6/2006
H wants ME 8/2006
H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006
H erased OW off phone! 2/2007

"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."