She Say's She Want's Out Of The Marriage

[steady]

As far as the separation when you get home. This may sound retarded or even backa$$wards:

But I wish my W and I had separated a long time ago (after the bomb dropped, not a long time ago in the relationship).

The separation creates space you both need

It creates an environment where she can feel the impact of her decision. ie: She won't just be able to feel anger which she would constantly have by seeing you in her space. When they do that it takes the focus off them and their feelings and doesn't give them any opportunity to reflect on their part in the whole mess.

You won't be physically around to remind her of her 'anger' and bitter feelings toward you

She won't feel you walking on eggshells all the time which will create tension and negative feelings inside her - which in turn she will use as further reasoning why she can't be with you. She will think being around you feels negative and she needs to get rid of the source of that negativity.(you - it's really not you, but she'll see it that way)

It will give you breathing space to be able to look at the whole sitch from a more distant perspective.

It will create a vacuum. An empty space between you. She will feel it. Perhaps it's a vacuum that will draw her closer. Perhaps it won't.

There are many other positives that will come from it.

Trust me, the space between my W and I has done wonders for me. I'm hoping it will have the same positive impact on you. I know you can't possibly imagine what I'm saying as true or being somehow beneficial to you - I would never have been able to see it that way early in my sitch.

It is at is. Make the best of what you have - you didn't make the decision to physically separate, she did. Therefore you have absolutely no control over it. Work your a$$ off to accept it and deal with it accordingly and in a way that will have a positive impact on you and your kids.