LadyJane,

Get an atty, and do NOT tell him. You are not being "sneaky," you are being WISE. It sends no "message" to him if he doesn't know.

There's a reason they put that little "v" between the names of the parties. Sadly, it's adversarial, but that's the way it works.

All you are doing is BETTER UNDERSTANDING YOUR RIGHTS AND RESPONSIBILITIES -- no more.

Puppy