Today is a loss indeed. My wife does not know that I know she had said this. She had not come forth herself about what 'somebody' had told her. I don't know who told her. My only guess would be that OMW said to OM that she had someone watching out for them and she may had said "so does he." Either OM said this to her or OM said something to someone else and it got back to her.
If I bring it up then she will feel even more so that I'm "watching her"
Later on as I was getting ready for work she walked up the stairs and walked past me then turned and said "what?" I said "nothing" then she said "you been acting weird all day" I replied "you came home from work early, sick, and I am just letting you relax".... I. Don't know
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
After giving the situation more thought and the event that took place today I think she did bring it up in her own way. She was telling our dog to watch me and said "keep watching him, then come back and tell me everything he does." I said in regards to that comment "no need I would tell you everything I do myself"
I did ask her if she meant anything by what she said (probably should had just let it go). She said " why are you doind something where you need to be watched?"
I said "absolutely not, I am honest and open about everything I do and if there is something you want to know just simply ask and I will give you the truth"
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
When I think about it I have heard her say far worse things to me in the past 9 weeks and after things still seemed to have approved. Although she did say today to someone else after she heard I . "Watching" she has said directly to me in the past "I wish I could end this marriage sooner" , "there is nothing you can say or do, it's over" "don't you understand there is no future" , "I am just co-existing until I can leave" , after all that she has yet to leave and is not as nasty to me....so I will keep at it and hopefully more positive starts to happen
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
In my opinion, you're spending WAY too much time worrying about what your wife thinks about what people in the office think about what you think your wife thinks.
In my opinion, you're spending WAY too much time worrying about what your wife thinks about what people in the office think about what you think your wife thinks.
Time to GAL, and DETACH.
Puppy
Absolutely.
OIN, if your wife in the past has found you too controlling then you DEFINITELY need to follow this advice.
I am notcing that this pattern hasn't changed... and it must.
It's good to take temperature every day, but I just get the feeling you are watching her like a hawk.. that can't be good for her recovery...
The best way you can help her man is to give her some space, which means you need to give your mind some space too...
When you start focusing on something else more often she will likley start to feel a bit less trapped.
My W wore her ring to work again today. I kept my distance when she came home and was actually in the process of getting ready to do a little shopping. She did ask where I was going and for what I told her and said "your welcome to join" she declined.
Just before I left she went through my phone again and went through all my archived messages. I sat there and let her do it. I walked out the door and then came back in because I forgot something. She was looking at my email. At first I was a little upset and asked to see the laptop, she got possessive and said it is my laptop, no. I felt myself slowly getting annoyed but held back. She said " you were so anxious to leave so why don't you just go" so I left.
When I returned home I said "I may have over reacted when you were looking through my email. I receive and have self-helP tips and ebooks in my email and I don't know if I was embarrassed or what but I am not ashamed and should not had responded like that" she said "ok" and that was that. She then went to sleep.
Tomorrow we are going to that concert which is a 4hr drive away. We are staying overnight and returning the following day. Tips? Suggestions? On how to make this an enjoyable trip to help melt some ice...
M: 27, W: 25 Together since: 01/31/00 M: 10/4/09 (8 Months) ILBNILWY: 01/24/10 EA confirmed: 02/10/10 (Busted). Road to Reconcile began: 07/10/10 Retrouvaille: 09/10/10
