Think my wife is having an MLC, looking for help

[TrentC]

Red November is more like Pandemic or Shadows Over Camelot; it's a cooperative game where the object is to beat the clock. It is possible to set up a scenario where you can win if the other players lose, but if they win then you lose.

[TrentC]

Had a rough night and hard time today, but not necessarily because of anything in my relationship.

I have a recently-divorced friend who is having a rough time with the separation. In talking to her and giving her a shoulder to cry on, she said some things that hit a few of my triggers. Made getting a good night's sleep impossible.

To make matters worse, I was googling for information or insight into what makes people want to leave, and found several "how to break up with the one you love" articles that put a serious dent in my PMA.

However, I went and watched some friends' kids performing in a Shakespearean production, and it was a lot of fun!

[TrentC]

...and now daylight saving time is kicking my butt. Blah.

I think it was affecting my wife, too; she has been a little more cheerful, but yesterday she was grouchy and she kinda kept to herself for most of the night.

My friend remarked that she doesn't know what to do to actually make things better for herself; she is lurching from what feels good to what feels good. Want to play WoW all day? Why not! Want to stay up until 11 on a Sunday night? Sure!

[TrentC]

I had an appointment with my IC on Friday. She said that I was doing great, and had improved since I started seeing her about 5 months ago. We were meeting every two weeks; she suggested one more meeting in four weeks to see if things continue to go well for me. Of course, I can always call her if something comes up.

Was going to go out with friends Friday night, but was tired from the long week, so I stayed at home and played with my dogs. My wife went out with a friend and her daughter for the daughter's birthday. Yesterday some friends and I got together and played games.

Things seem to be improving between us, little by little. She has been cooking more and sharing with me; I have been doing the same. We've had some good conversation and I made her really laugh for the first time in months.

The big outstanding issues:

1) Very little physical affection.
2) Still sleeping in separate rooms.
3) No real discussion of the future.

She is taking an unintended vacation from World of Warcraft right now: her account was broken into! Someone looted all of her characters, actually stole two of them, and tried to take a third. Blizzard (the company behind WoW) is working to get them back, but she's not even able to log in to see all of the damage yet.

How did I handle this? I told her that I hope everything works out for the best. I told her to keep an eye on the computer: if stuff seems to have moved or changed or if she gets notices from other websites of suspicious activity, I can wipe everything off and reinstall from scratch.

[are you kidding]

You are doing a great job and looks like you are doing the right thing.

Just DO NOT PUSH or talk about the future.

I did before I knew what I was into and it only got worse from there.

Let her have her fun, If you read the emails in the topic I from Help Read this email, she is in a lot of turmoil.

[TrentC]

Just DO NOT PUSH or talk about the future.

I did before I knew what I was into and it only got worse from there.

Let her have her fun, If you read the emails in the topic I from Help Read this email, she is in a lot of turmoil.

I tried looking for that topic. Where is it?

[TrentC]

Is this it? HELP THIS IS OUT OF MY LEAGUE READ THE EMAIL

[TrentC]

Thanks to 1000ships, I have more reading I can do.

I still haven't been able to track down that Peter O'Connor book; might be time to hit eBay.

My wife got her World of Warcraft account straightened out, and has alternated between hardly playing at all and playing for several nights in a row. She was up until 2 am last night playing.

She has been cooking more for the both of us, and more open to talking about the trivial stuff in her life -- work, her projects, WoW.

Our last post session for Retrouvaille was on Sunday. We had a very emotional conversation afterward -- we both were crying -- and I asked her where we stood. She said she didn't know.

* I told her that she could tell me anything and she replied "that's not true".
* Does she still feel she can't trust me? Sometimes.
* Have I done anything lately to demonstrate that I can't be trusted? No.
* Does she want to trust me again? Yes.

So it sounds like I need to keep doing what I am doing.

I've spent the last week or so brushing up on some of my web design and coding skills. They're not essential to my tech support job, but I had a few customer issues where having that knowledge helped.

At the same time, my supervisor wants to talk to me on Monday about all of the open cases I have. It's an ongoing thing, but being short-handed after some deep layoffs back in May has made it a lot worse. He also wants to talk to me about "non-work-related business during work hours", which means I'm probably going to take a real break from the boards and Facebook during the workday. Last thing in the world I need to do is add unemployment to the list of things I have to deal with. And I haven't mentioned it to my wife.

I did check up on a resumé that I sent out a couple of weeks ago; the company takes a long time to hire, and there has been no progress as of yet.

[TrentC]

I finally tracked down a copy of No More Mr. Nice Guy.

It's almost as much of an eye-opener as Codependent No More was.

[TrentC]

I think I need to post an update soon.

I was going through some old files on my computer and I came across of picture of my wife and I having our first kiss.

I had totally forgotten that picture even existed. And it's completely blown my PMA for the morning. Fortunately, I'm at work...