The next time I talk to her I feel like telling her that I am upset with her lack of responsibility. I want to tell her that she is in fantasy land and needs to snap out of it. I understand that she is going through whatever it is she is going through, but she needs to wake-up and take her responsibility with the house. I want to tell her that she is burying her head in the sand again, this time with our M. That she is running from the issues again and isn't strong enough to face them. That she thinks she has it all figured out now but in reality she does not. I want to tell her that I can look in the mirror now and accept my faults and I am doing the hard work of correcting them. I want to tell her that I have a C appt. this week and if she wants to start putting in some hard work, finally, and stop running, then she is welcome to join me. She said she wants to be challenged. Well, I would tell her to start by taking this challenge of stop running and make some effort to at least go to C.
Ok, a few things: - don't talk about your "feelings" with your WAW, they don't care, it's a waste of your breath but if you want to show her how much of a wussy man you are, go ahead and talk about your "feelings" because you've been taught by society to be a sensitive feeling man and that's what your WAW really wants.... I'm being sarcastic here, no feelings talk whatsoever, it's not masculine or attractive
- you kind of get it but you don't so here is some help. Your WAW is in fantasyland, when they are in fantasyland, they won't understand or hear your logic, it won't work, she is emotionally driven, you are logically driven. You keep applying your logic to her emotions and you can already tell she is led by her feelings. Why do you feel telling her that she has to snap out of fantasyland is going to work? It won't, you are going against her feelings and you can tell that she rejects you because you are going against her feelings.
You don't want to tell her this: "...I want to tell her that I can look in the mirror now and accept my faults and I am doing the hard work of correcting them."
Why? This is what you're saying, I'm not good enough for you, I have to improve to reach your level, I'll work hard to show you I'm good enough and I'll change just for you, I'll correct myself just for you. When you tell someone or show someone by trying to prove you're good enough you achieve the exact opposite, you communicate the opposite, I'm not good enough for you.
Here's the deal.... YOU ARE MORE THAN GOOD ENOUGH. However you've been spending alot of time lately acting like you're not good enough for her in some form or fashion and oh how the women love it when a man shows this kind of confidence. (sarcasm obviously)
On the "challenge" issue, Yeah I believe your wife wants to be challenged, she wants to be with a man that challenges her, wants her to rise up to his level, something that she wants to pursue and have because she doesn't have a man like that in her life, that's the challenge she wants, that's what attracts her, a guy that leads, a guy that has high standards, a guy that knows what he wants, a guy that will stand up for himself, a guy that has self respect and a healthy self-esteem and a guy that won't tolerate less than this from his wife.
Turn this situation around by looking at it differently.
