The next time I talk to her I feel like telling her that I am upset with her lack of responsibility. I want to tell her that she is in fantasy land and needs to snap out of it. I understand that she is going through whatever it is she is going through, but she needs to wake-up and take her responsibility with the house. I want to tell her that she is burying her head in the sand again, this time with our M. That she is running from the issues again and isn't strong enough to face them. That she thinks she has it all figured out now but in reality she does not. I want to tell her that I can look in the mirror now and accept my faults and I am doing the hard work of correcting them. I want to tell her that I have a C appt. this week and if she wants to start putting in some hard work, finally, and stop running, then she is welcome to join me. She said she wants to be challenged. Well, I would tell her to start by taking this challenge of stop running and make some effort to at least go to C.
I know you are asking Sandi, but I would like to just say to you that saying anything to your wife like that is like taking a step backwards away from what you are trying to accomplish, and even if she looks in the face and nods her head while you are talking when she gets in the car she will be thinking, 'what nerve.'
Your next move should be working on independence and happiness regardless of the outcome. For your wife to see you as a man that is not upset by her actions, confident that the 'new' direction in your life is better then what it was, and moving away from her will make you more interesting for her to come back too.
I want to reiterate this to you,
Quote:
Do you really feel that your wife is attracted to needy, insecure, unconfident men, who would beg a woman to stay or even reconsider? How could you begin to imagine your wife could find any sexual attraction in that behavior? And if she is not sexually attracted, why would she even want to reconsider? Life is good now that she is on her own and separated.
Remember, she wants you to challenge her. Telling her she is burying her head in the sand is an insult not a challenge. She will flee. Telling her, 'she thinks she has it all figured out now but in reality she does not' sounds like you know whats best for her. What gives you the right to determine that? Have you actually figured it ALL out for yourself yet?
