Sometimes my H owns up, but it's barely owning up. It's like this: "I know the name-calling isn't right and I shouldn't do it, but what you do (not being affectionate enough) is worse," or "Yes, I know it's wrong but if you would just 'do this, or not do that' I wouldn't get so mad."
I guess you can say that he's not really owning up at all.
No, not really. One thing you can take to heart, though, is that he's trying to rewrite history or foist all of the responsibility for the problems of the marriage onto you. So just because he says something doesn't mean that it is true.
Some other suggested reading:
The Solo Partner by Phil Deluca Getting Back Together by Bettie Youngs and Masa Goetz.
Both of these books discuss things that you can work on for yourself. And by making real, lasting changes for your own good, you also change the dynamics of the relationship.
Sadly, if there is an OW involved, working on rebuilding your marriage will be next-to-impossible while that relationship is going on. So we're back to taking care of yourself and figure out what you want to do to make your life better.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
