Advice on possible EA

[gregr1111]

Thanks Greek I really do appreciate your input.

Its hard to hear advice like this, but I suppose you are right. I know the thing I need to be doing is to GAL, and setting firm boundries. My DR book has not arrived yet so I dont fully understand all the concepts, but I am keen to put them into practice.
I read on another post (cant find which 1 it was) about the LBH who after bieng told to leave (and leaving) who then moved back to his home telling the Wthat he has a right to live in his own home and if she diddn't like it, she had the option to leave.
Do you think that would be something to consider in my situation?

[Greek]

I read on another post (cant find which 1 it was) about the LBH who after bieng told to leave (and leaving) who then moved back to his home telling the Wthat he has a right to live in his own home and if she diddn't like it, she had the option to leave.
Do you think that would be something to consider in my situation?

I do!
Greek

[Puppy Dog Tails]

I do too.

Puppy

[gregr1111]

I really do appreciate all the advice from everyone so far. I am supposed to see my W tomorrow night and have atalk with her about how we are going to work things. She is going away for 2 days for business that next morning, and I am going to be staying at my house to look after the kids. I know it is a business trip as she sent me the schedule and communications from her work. What I dont know is if OM is going to conveniently be there at the same time. For my own sanity I will assume he is not.
I was planning on discussing my boundries with her (OM and moving back home)
I dont really have a plan put together yet on everything I want to discuss and how I want to say it.
I am thinking of texting her and telling her I am not ready to have the discussion with her tomorrow and only want to do it when she gets back.
She will be leaving for the airport directly from work so I can go to the house when she has left, avoiding any contact with her.

On fracesc's post "WAW and the law of attraction"

Gnosis advised:

You DO NOT confront her with the affair YET. You only get one chance at that. Confrontation and exposure if done incorrectly will work AGAINST you.

That statement got me thinking, is this the right time to bring OM up again? I haven't got any real proof that anything is going on other than seeing an sms and the photos of her with him at her sisters party.
She will just dissmis my boundry by saying that there is nothing going on. Or will enforcing this boundry possibly make her think twice before she takes this A to a physical level (if she hasn't already)?

[gregr1111]

Plus I need to take a good look in my pants to find my balls again. And that could possibly take more than 1 day.

[gregr1111]

so texedmy W earlier to find out her flight details. I told her that if she is leaving from work then I would come to the house when she left. if the flight was early then I would either come the evening before or early when she was leaving. I think i will go early though than the evening before.
So I have given myself a bit more time to get my plan together, and have a good look in those pant of mine ;-)

Her response was "Whatever works for you, I will text you the details"

[gregr1111]

Another question:

How, and if you think I should, do I go dark, bearing in mind I have 2 children to consider. In the two possible scenarios:

a) I dont move home.
b) I do move back home?

Thanks,
Greg

[Greek]

Why don't you move back into your home while she is on her trip? You are still married, this is the family home, you are not the BABYSITTER who pops in for a couple of days when she needs you and then pops out...

If she doesn't want to live there, she can go.

You are sober, right? How long? Seems to me that if you are clean and sober enough to be with the kids in the house WHEN SHE NEEDS YOU TO BE, then you are up to the task of putting your M together.

Are you ready to make that statement with your life?

Greek

[gregr1111]

Why don't you move back into your home while she is on her trip

I was thinking of doing just that. I'm just not sure if I can be strong enough to not let myself get walked over by her.

You are sober, right? How long?

Yip! since 1 Dec 09

Are you ready to make that statement with your life?

Im not sure I understand you completely here! what statement exactly?
Every thing you just posted?

[gregr1111]

Something I just thought of:
If I do set boundries re OM. How could I get NC from her? They dont work in the same office but they do attend the same meetings quite regulary. Short of her changing jobs I dont see how this can be avoided.

Oh and can someone please give me comment on this:

Gnosis advised:
Quote:
You DO NOT confront her with the affair YET. You only get one chance at that. Confrontation and exposure if done incorrectly will work AGAINST you.


That statement got me thinking, is this the right time to bring OM up again? I haven't got any real proof that anything is going on other than seeing an sms and the photos of her with him at her sisters party.
She will just dissmis my boundry by saying that there is nothing going on. Or will enforcing this boundry possibly make her think twice before she takes this A to a physical level (if she hasn't already)?