You sound good and strong. Detaching happens a bit at a time for me. Come back read and reinforce what you've learned when you feel yourself back sliding. (I'm doing that right now) Keep journaling, putting feelings down, it helps.
We WILL get through this! One second at a time if need be!
BTW - looks like WAH went and got contact lenses for the first time in his life yesterday... the replay continues...
SH
Me 42 H39 M 10 years, T 12.75 years MLC began spring 2009 ILYBNILWY 1/18/10 WAS 2/5/10 EA revealed 3/6/10 EA ended (by her) 3/7/10 M - DOA...but working on getting disentangled.
Indeed, the contact lens thing is interesting...creepy too, since he has always been dismissive of the option (and not fond of drinking either, for that matter...but is buying beer a lot these days!).
He is a complete stranger...glad I'm in NC mode!
SH
Me 42 H39 M 10 years, T 12.75 years MLC began spring 2009 ILYBNILWY 1/18/10 WAS 2/5/10 EA revealed 3/6/10 EA ended (by her) 3/7/10 M - DOA...but working on getting disentangled.
Beginning on Thursday, it's been a busy weekend so far.
First, a friend with some recent major physical difficulties called to come over for a visit and support in the afternoon. It was amazing how we both related to one another's pain & loss from such very different angles,,,he is in a newly re-committed relationship that has been piecing since October, but the parallel was in his medical losses, we didn't talk about his R.
Next, a friend of mine from grad school traveled 4 hours to visit for 2 nights (my first guest post WAH! So nice not to be alone!). She joined me for dance class & we had a late dinner. The next day we did a lot of running around and she treated me to my first pedicure, which was fun. Yesterday, we were up early so that she could head home and I volunteered at a charity pancake breakfast for 5 hours (fun!).
In between, I got a text from WAH that he needed to come and get some cooler clothes since all that he took were winter clothes and it's quite warm. I waited a couple of hours to respond, but was cordial (what time & I'll be sure to go over to the neighbor's and get out of your way...). He changed the time 3 times (seems like typical MLC behavior)...but was in and out in 15 minutes, texting when he left.
Then, last night, I was invited to the friend's house who visited on Thu afternoon to hang out. His GF engaged in wide-ranging convos, since she wanted to share her perspective - having been a WA and moving back after one year. The day was so full that I skipped writing in my journal (I've been pouring out like 3-6 pages a day in there!). And I actually had sleep on Friday night (like 7 hours! ...more than the usual 4).
In retrospect, this was good keeping busy. Still...with my friends, there was much (mostly) focus on talking about me, WAH and the R (on both sides)...so the focus was kept on this. I cried while driving home last night, missing/longing...and I woke up with the R as the first thing on my mind.
NOTE TO SELF (and others): when trying to GAL, make it about ME and the other(s) present & NOT talking, talking, talking about the R. When people want to engage, ask them Qs about themselves & their lives instead and re-direct conversation to topics OTHER than the R (EVEN if it's the only thing on MY mind!). This is difficult! I need to get more comfortable just having normal conversations instead of deconstructing everything all of the time. I cannot truly know what is happening with his MLC or speculate on what's going on in his head and his life (esp. with NC in effect). This is about me!
