The Good Soil Of Love

[Concerned_Listener]

Doc, Matilda, Jak, and DB Friends,
My W accompanied me to the ballroom chapter ball last night. It was her idea to go, to my surprise. She was ready to leave after an hour. She likes to dance every dance, and is lacking the skill and hasn't developed a network in the ballroom community. She's frustrated that my skill level isn't higher. It seems like she wants a partner with a broad level of skill across the dances, to get her thru the evening.

I've realized that it's impossible to meet her expectations, and can't take her words at face value. I can't work any harder than I am at my dancing. It is a process of skill development. I don't think she understands how difficult it is for a male to learn the skills.

People were puzzled as to why we were leaving so early. I was patient with her, even though I wanted to stay. I didn't think to drive separately. I wasn't going to send her home in a cab (though it was tempting). She complained in the car on the way home, about my lack of commitment to dancing. I kept quiet and tolerated it, because I knew she was wrong. After she winded down at home, she apologized for ending the evening prematurely.

She continues to enjoy the Hustle formation team. We both watched Saturday Night Fever with John Travolta to get an idea of the spirit of Hustle, so we can incorporate it into our routine. Our teacher said we got the moves, but lack the spirit. Hustle gives a dancer permission to be confident to the point of cocky and arrogant, like a peacock.

At our dance lesson yesterday, my W was talking to our instructors and another student about traveling to Florida. She mentioned to them about one of her trips in the past that she took with someone else. Her comment evoked a response, "Oh, it was one of those types of trips." I was embarrassed for her.

She reminded me that she would like for me to buy a tuxedo. I will keep an eye out for a sale.

I don't think there's anything I need to do differently regarding my dance habits. It seems likely, that as my W and I become more connected to others as a couple, that some of our history will be revealed to others. I don't have control over this. I find myself wanting to hold back from others, and not letting them get to know us as a couple.

CL