WH has been texting daughter today asking how is our weekend, then he calls me apparently to tell me that we got one of the jobs we were bidding on (that's a good news) then he asks me how is our weekend, I told him that it's FANTASTIC, great spring skiing...having a blast. Then he said that he is soooo happy that we went and that we are having a good time. We continued chatting & I started telling him about what D16 was doing and in the middle of it he's cut me off and said "sorry, have to go, expecting a call". That was a bit rude and also upset me because I wanted to be the one ending the call!!!!
I wish that he didn't call while I'm on vacation, spoiled my mood a little.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I have been thinking (really). I realize that I may never know why this is happening to my WH, but that's not stopping me in trying to "understand".
We started dating when I was 16 him 17. We were each other's "first". As far as I know, in all his life, my WH only had 3 sexual partners besides me (2x one-nighters & one affair 20 years ago). What role could this play in his MLC?
Does he feel that he's missed out, that he didn't "experience" other women, that he never had any serious relationships beside me. Is this what his "replay" is all about? If that's what he is trying to change and catch up on, he may never look back...
Even if this is the case, does it make any difference what his reasons for "replay" are to the outcome?
I know that I may get some 2x4 for trying to analyze his MLC.
Last edited by Mila; 03/21/1009:52 AM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
Hi SA, There is lots of wisdom from the veterans here, their opinion and advice is invaluable to us newbies at the beginning of our quest for answers.
I maybe over-analyzing everything, it's partially my personality. However I do believe that is important to learn as much a I can, it does give me some peace at least in terms of accepting that right now WH is on his own journey and I'm on mine.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I know what you mean by over-analyzing, Mila. I have a tendency to do the same. That's just me. I'm not sure it's possible to over analyze someone in MLC. As soon as you think you've got a handle on it, they change. lol
Our time lines are about the same so should be interesting to see how our sitches unfold.
It's quite possible he feels that way. My wife was 19 when we married. She had a number of boyfriends but I was her "first". When she dropped the bomb she said that she missed out on that part of her life. Never mind that she CHOSE to marry me. At some point she has to realize she didn't "lose" that part of her life. She chose the path that she took.
I know that my looking for "WHY's" will not change anything that's going on with him. If this is his motivation, I hope that when he comes out of his tunnel he'll realize that it's not about quantity...it's quality that counts.
I hope for the same with your wife.
Last edited by Mila; 03/21/1009:16 PM.
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
I know how you feel about wanting to understand. I'm exactly the same way and will try to answer what I can.
I believe that we are what they were looking for all along. They just have to figure that out.
My wife is in full teenager mode. It's not neccesarily about playing the field for her. She's looking for the "one". She's found the "one" five times now(not all relationships were physical). I've heard just about everything(soulmate, "in love", made me feel like no other, "this relationship was 21 years in the making"). Now it seems as though she's found the "one" #6. Met him on a dating site, they haven't gone on a date yet but she's already planning on going to his Church for Easter. It's like he showed interest in her so he must be the "one".
I will read more of your sitch and see if I can answer any of your other questions.
Hi Money, your wife seems really lost, sorry that you have to through this. I'm sorry for her as well.
Originally Posted By: D Money
I believe that we are what they were looking for all along. They just have to figure that out.
You may be right. I hope that they will come "full circle" back to us...On the other hand, who knows if we'll still be here waiting for them. The old marriage is dead in my opinion, totally new relationship would have to be built.
Quote:
My wife is in full teenager mode. It's not neccesarily about playing the field for her. She's looking for the "one"
My WH definitely has many "teen-like" behaviors, accept he thinks that he's found the "one" to replace me .
I will read more of you sitch as well, I'd really appreciate any insight you may have about mine.
Have a great day
M53 H54 D17 M33Y T38Y Bomb OW 09/09 OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10 WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10 Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
