Into my arms... #70

[AliSuddenly]

Hey K! I am your friend and I would like to think you consider me an honest and reliable, trustworthy decent person (which I hope I am!) but... I had an EA/PA and I behaved badly, in ways your H did. Becuase thats what A's make you do, you do conceal things, lead a "double life" even, lie, to those you love and to yourself. It isnt the sum total of his personality, it isnt necessarily WHO he is, although it was back then, its just what he did. And he did behave badly, but then hopefully he has learned what matters to him now as a consequence of how he behaved (have you asked him that?)

and as for this "saw the receipt of our kids bunk bed, 30/10/2006. I remembered the day clearly and he was so excited and we picked the colors out etc etc. He was seeing her for over 2 months... What an actor!" - well, I expect he WAS excited about it. Men evenmore so than woman can lead a double life as they can compartmentalise hey.

I dont know what you can do about the anger. You do need to have more healing convos with H but I sense only after BOTH have you have let go of the negative emotions - him of how awful and shamed it makes him feel to discuss it and you your anger and resentments. You dont necessarily need to talk or have IC. How about get some acupuncture, or shiatsu or deep theraupeutic massage to let them help you release negative emotions and free you up?

I find tears rising when I have acupuncture and then I feel much better afterwards, it can be powerful stuff. ANd I'm gad you are not so dizzy now! Dont forget, with your Mum and Dad and H etc, you are under a lot of stress in fact, that you have learnt to "shoulder" but its bound to affect you physically?

xxx