Well I went out to dinner with Mr ImnotmarriedlikeyouthinkImmarried last night.
You were all so right.
I really thought he would tell me he and his wife are separated (and even in those circumstances I'd made a decision that I'd tell him to call me in 12 months when the divorce was finalised and he'd had some time to heal).
We had a great meal, lively, funny conversation, gorgeous wine (probably a bit too much of it) I was having a great time. Over desert he told me that he's been married for 27 years to a "wonderful, kind, loving woman who he has a close and committed relationship with”.
I’m like “what?” What the hell have you been doing pursing me then? He denied that he’s been pursing me. Claims he’s got dozens of women friends he has close friendships with and his wife knows about them. He was seriously trying to tell me that there was nothing improper with the level of contact he initiated with me (all the while trying to play footsie under the table). He said he respects me and thinks I’m an amazing, strong, intelligent, funny woman (I couldn’t agree with him more!!) he loves my company and I shouldn’t be so worried about anything dodgy (while his knee kept “bumping” into mine.) He even claimed he told his wife he was going out to dinner with me last night.
I ended up saying to him that I thought he was deluding himself. From my perspective he had been engaging in a emotional affair with me and that was as inappropriate as a sexual one. HE DID NOT GET IT. He was completely in denial. (and it was weird – he was trying to make it like I had misread his intentions or something … he seriously didn’t agree there was anything wrong with calling me several times a day, e-mailing daily, instant messaging for hours late at night).
I think what I’m most offended by is that he didn’t even try to justify himself. He didn’t even try to excuse his behaviour – he is convinced there’s nothing wrong with it.
I’m really disappointed in him. I respected him and thought he had more integrity (and more of a clue).
He walked me home and tried to kiss me goodnight!!!! I wanted to ask him what he thought his wife would think about that – but I was just so over it by then. (shaking my head)
I won’t be seeing him or speaking to him outside of a professional setting again.
