Husband left me 3 months pregnant...

[Piano]

Babydoll, checking in to see how you are doing? I am missing your news.
I know you adressed this to newmama, but she's taking a DB sabbatical, so I hope you don't mind me stepping in...

From what i understand, custody for an infant is a whole different ballgame than that of children over 5? i was told infants need to bond with their mothers, especially if they are nursing them. and no judge would send an infant away on weekends, etc.

Different laws for every country, but that's exactly what my lawyer told me. If you are nursing, then especially in the first six months you feed one hour, they sleep another, and are awake the next hour.. so 3hr cycles. Your WH would have to fit in with THIS routine, and you can call the shots. After all, the courts look after baby's needs first..which is to have a routine.

Any word from WH?
If so, any word about doing more coparenting counseling? I know you cancelled that appointment.

That is not a real man, nor a real father... he thinks this baby is a toy he can drop in on anytime he is bored. I am not having it.

Yup. They say some men don't become fathers until the baby is born. It's so abstact for some of them beforehand... My WH is exactly the same...he's lving with friends who have three kids, all under 6 and a newborn...and yet he has RUN AWAY from his own. It's mindboggling.

i met with my therapist last thursday and she also suggested I email him, a) to say one last time that I do not believe D is the answer and that i do in fact still love him and wish he would work things out with me b) to briefly go over things like taxes, the house etc. He didnt write back... instead he sent several text messages saying i didnt say this or get your information correct, he wants to continue fighting. .

I know it's counterintuitive, but saying "I love you" now will fall on deaf ears and you H will do everythig he can to prove you are wrong. You can say "I do not want this divorce and I beleive our marriage can be saved", but don't talk about love to him. He can't handle it. And he KNOWS you love him.

I think you are right to continue DBing for yourself, your sanity and to build your life in case he stays his current course. But don't forget if you follow the principles of DBing, you might be able to turn him around. But it's going to take time.......

The pain is unavoidable....go through it....when you are stong again, get back on the horse. In your own time.
<<hugs>>