well guys my H is home from Iraq... last night he came in about 1 am and i was in bed, he slept on the couch, he did come in my room one time and said do you want to say hi? but i was half out of it.. this morning we talked about R and he said he would try.. not sure how long he will or what he will actually try... said he would go to C on tuesday with me.... he has not made any attempt to have physical contact with me... but i feel like he is purposely walking around in front of me with no shirt, in a towel, etc (remember he lost a lot of weight in iraq) he makes little jokes about being physical but has said he knows it would just mess with things.... he told me he wants to just grab me but knows its not a good idea... he said i could go home with him on his little trip if i wanted and said i could even move to his next base with him if i wanted... he is not going to just kick me out... i dont know guys, is he giving me false hope?
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
I don't know. Keep it positive and flirty if you can until you get in C on tuesday. Then listen a lot on Tuesday. Maybe he made you into something you're not (a problem, a hindrance) in his mind while away from you so long and it's some weird long distance stress thing. Good luck. Great job so far! Don't worry about false hope. You'll know soon enough.
False hope? Only if you want it to be. He probably is willing to try, at least if it's easy. Is he going to be willing to put in the hard work? At this point, probably not. You'll have to be patient and see how far he's willing to go. Obviously seeing you in the flesh had an impact on him, but try not to get too excited about it.
Good luck, meghunny. I think things are going really well for you! ((hugs))
Me: 26 Ex: 27 Son: 5
Divorced: 3/2010 Each day is another opportunity to do it right.
ok guys... so here is how it is going... he slept on the couch the first night, and last night. He has also said today that he does not want me to come home on his trip with him, he just wants to spend time with his daughter and his family without all the awkwardness of this whole situation... which really hurts my feelings... but i am pushing too much and i see that... we havent kissed or anything... we did cuddle on the couch today a little bit and he has said that he doesnt want to have sex because he doesnt want it to either confuse his feelings or give me false hope, or make it harder on me if things dont work out. which i guess is understandable, but its still hard. It makes me feel rejected. But I guess i want too much too soon. He said he is in this 100% to make the effort, but it seems more like he is just wanting to wait to see if something happens TO him, not if he can do something FOR it... you know what i mean? But i am talking about R too much and i see its not helping. But i guess i feel like i have no reassurance... someone tell me to stop this!!! I want to just live life, go with the flow... but I wonder how I will know that its actually progress... i dont know, he has only been home one day... i need PATIENCE! I just missed him so much i guess... i want contact so bad and I want his love so bad... if he goes home on his own without what does that mean?
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
From what I understand meg he is going to say all kinds of things that will contradict. Just be patient and let things roll off your back. I will pray for you.
Aces
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
well guys... i think i am giving up.... there is an EA, i did some snooping and found some emails between him and a girl he was deployed with... seems like its in the initial flirty phase, but still incrediby hurtful... when i asked him about it, he of course tried to play it off like it was nothing... we talked for hours yesterday... cried alot on both of our parts... but he still seems like he wants me to leave... we hugged, he kissed me on the forehead, but still insists on sleeping on the couch...he said some pretty hurtful things about me to this OW... he told me things like he is in it 100% to try.... told her its awkward and he has to go out to smoke a cigarette and think about her.... told me if we can make it work and be happy thats all he wants.... told her that he is only staying in this house til Monday and then is going to tell his work he wants a dorm.... and of course down played this all when i asked him.... I told him that I am going home, that I cant trust him and if he would stop writing her and agreed to take me home with him when he goes to visit then i would stay... he agreed to stop writing her (for now) but has not agreed to take me home (part of his trip home includes going to see her) so i guess i have no choice but to go.... he made alot of jokes today about sex with him... but i feel like he is just toying with me... i CANNOT believe this has happened... this girl ought to be ashamed of herself and so should he...
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
well... i am trying hard to keep my head up... but this SUCKS and come to find out I cant even leave for what could be weeks or even months! and we have to stay in this house together because there is no room for him at the dorms... its so weird... its hard... he talks about sex too much, tells me that we could do it and it could just be for fun, well sorry sir but its not FUN for me, I love you! jerk.... I am trying hard to look for things not to love about him... and i can say that he is not the person i have been married to all this time...so would i even want to be with him now if this is who he is?? i dont think so....so like i was told, i guess i am becoming the WAS now... I gotta do something though, i am just torturing myself by continuing on with this... i dont know, i guess if its meant to be, me leaving wont change that... or it will.... who knows, but i will be moved on and hopefully happy.
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
Meg, is there any way you can go home? Do you have the means to leave right now? Or do you have a friend out there that you can stay with? I'm on the opposite side. My W is a WAW and believe me us splitting up has opened my eyes. Am I tottally at fault? No but I have accepted what I did wrong and I am making changes in my life to make myself better. Can I say you leaving will do that for your husband? No I can't but at least you will be at peace. At least you will be taking care of yourself. When is the cruise? Go on it. Get away instead of being inside of the house all the time. I wish I was more experianced and could give you better advice.
Aces.
I like all this empty space because i can now type out things that are important.
Like: D7 S2 starting swimming lessons on 3/30
"Readily will I display the intestinal fortidue required to fight on..."
well the cruise thing is all messed up now... if i went i would have to go alone and i would not feel safe or prob have fun all by myself... i never changed the name on it to a friend cause when he first came home he said he would take me on it so that i could at least have went... and now he doesnt think its a good idea. I could go home right now, but I would have to leave my stuff behind and at this point i really dont want to do that... i stayed all this time in the first place because i thought well even if it doesnt work out, i still dont want to leave without my stuff... but we will see. its so weird, cause he has said to me several times that he doesnt want me to leave, or that he didnt say he wanted me to leave...but he isnt asking me to stay and then says things like its prob best if i leave....so..... i mean, it all is too confusing. and i feel like this is all about him getting to go on his trip to go visit OW, he is not budging on that plan and if i leave he wont have to feel guilty, but if i stay he will cause i already told him i would stay if and only if he takes me on the trip with him, which would mean he cant go see her.... but he isnt willing to do that. i can tell he is sad that i have decided to go, but at the same time, he isnt making any moves to not have it happen...so what am i supposed to do? he gives me mixed signals ALL the time....
Me: 25 H:25 M: 2yrs T: 4yrs No Kids Bomb: 11 Feb 10 Newcomers Story
